Inadequate09

What if now is all you have? Live as if you never knew what it was to lose

2006-06-12T01:24:13Z

I've got this unquenchable thirst and my eyes are watering uncontrollably, not to mention my entire body feels like the sun is beating through it and my head feels like it's been subject to hours and hours of horrible techno music. I think I have a fever...sweeeeet.

I watched Saw and Saw 2 with Brendan and Zack this weekend, which was pretty hxc. Haha hxc, remember when that word was cool? I remember Allison explaining to me what it was at lunch time back during senior year. I miss you dad! Good times. I think it's funny when sometimes I refer to myself as a senior, and then I remember that I'm a freshman in college, or not even, I'm a sophomore in college now technically. And all the real seniors now are graduating ... and then ahhh all my junior friends will be seniors .... and once again AHHH I'm so old! Almost 19 man, it's time to get like, responsible. I think I'll worry about that later though, and rest my purrty little head now.

<3always,
L.Smith

A Lovely Weekend Thanks to .... YOU GUYS

2006-03-06T22:54:08Z

I loved being home this weekend and seeing everyone. It was a little shocking how everyone seemed happy to see me, I guess I just didn't expect so many people to like, remember me, let alone miss me! And it wasn't akward or anything, it was like I had never left for college.
It really made me miss last year and 42nd street. Looking back on my life right now, I think that February and March of my senior year were some of the best days of my life, I was so happy back then and it's all because of you all. Right now college is not so glorious for me because I have so much work to do. Spring Break is coming so professors are throwing everything they can at us (yes, that still happens in college!) I'm craving home now more than ever before. I think the only thing that is keeping me going is Lauren. I promise you'll all meet her, I'm hoping she'll visit NJ for a couple of days over Spring Break and I'll bring her to the high school or something.

I must away now, I have to eat dinner and finish writing a paper that is worth 40% of my Sociology grade :( And then watch 24!!! Adios guys.

<3always,
LaurenKaySmith

Oh College

2006-02-12T21:19:40Z

So at our dining hall they usually have big, normal plastic trays for us to put our food on. Today they had these little, flimsy, styrofoam trays. Why? Because they didn't want us to go sledding on the normal trays. I just thnk it's funny that they prolly have these trays stored somewhere just so they can break them out when it snows.

College is killing me, I have so much work. It's wonderful though because I have decided what I want to do with my life. I am going to be PreMed ... yes, I know it's a lot of work, but I love math and science and helping people, so I think it just makes sense. I'll be in school forever, but in in the end it will be worth it.

I'm siked for Grey's Anatomy tonight, I don't know if any of you watch it, but it's an amazing show and you should if you don't. It's on ABC at 10pm. We're gonna order Chineses food and drink hot chocolate and it's going to be a party.

Until then ... I do homework ...

<3always,
Lauren Kay Smith

Hello I am Lauren and I am an Age of Empires Addict

2005-12-11T08:08:25Z

So it's like 3 in the morning and I'm sitting here in my dormroom waiting for my guy buds to get back from Washington D.C. so I can play my latest obssession with them, Age of Empires. All the guys on our floor plus me are addicted. We stayed up until 5:30am yesterday playing and it 's looking like we're gonna be having a repeat of that tonight. If you guys don't know what it is, it's kind of like that old school computer game Civilization. I could be doing something worthwhile like, I don't know, write that 5-6 page paper that I have due TOMORROW, but I mean, procrastination is becoming a favorite pasttime of mine. Plus, my literary skills are pretty burnt out after the 6 papers I've written this past week. If it means something, I did TRY writing the paper, but I only got the introduction done and then all of my paper-writing brain functions collapsed. Okay? So it's not my fault.

As the semester winds down, I'm beginning to realize that I am going to miss my College Park buddies. I've lived and bonded with these kids for four months, and in a little more than a week, I will be without them for over a month. I'm going to miss 3rd floor Centreville North so much! Although home does sound so attractive with all you wonderful people, it's void of the newest part of my life.

Ahhhhh my boys are back, let the games beginnnnn

<3always,
Lauren

I hate holidays

2005-11-25T02:48:26Z

I always start off holidays in a good mood, thinking maybe this year will be better than the last ... And somehow it always gets ruined. Something always sets me off and gets me so angry or upset and then the rest of my day is ruined.

This year my brother got absolutely wasted at my aunt's house and was acting so awfully. It was so embarrassing and just put me in such a bad mood. He drinks SO much and it really worries me.

Now I'm just sitting here in my room all depressed reminiscing, thinking of the ways things used to be...I was so happy a year ago, everything was perfect, all of my friends were awesome, no one hated anyone else. Now ... so many ties have been severed, everything is ruined. I hate thinking about these things, but I just can't help it. Certain things in my life are constant reminders of certain things that have happened in the past or certain people. I know you're probably thinking "just forget about it Lauren, just forget it." Well I can't fucking forget it. I wish I could since I wouldn't have to feel this way, but at the same time, I don't want to forget, because that was the last time that I was genuinely happy.

<3always,
Lauren

Sudoku is for lovers

2005-11-10T17:25:25Z

I AM ADDICTED TO SUDOKU. If you don't know what it is go to www.sudoku.com and download it and play it because it is fun and will make you CrAzY.

Tonight I am heading south to the University of South Carolina to visit brother Patrick and hopefully Ryan, we'll see. Plus, MY GATORS ARE PLAYING THERE ON SATURDAY, which is really why I'm going.

Last night I saw Crash at the student theater here and it was a pretty amazing movie, have you guys seen it? It was like woah emotional at some points. I almost cried, ALMOST, and then I realized that I don't cry in public or much of ever for that matter. But see it if you haven't, it's worth it.

I have class in 7 minutes and it takes at least 7 minutes to get there. Cool. Guess that means I'm out. Later dudes.

<3always,
Lauren

Maryland Loves You

2005-10-25T23:14:26Z

Hello All.
Last night as you may or may not have noticed, I had an emo I-miss-Moorestown moment. It happens. Thanks to everyone who left me a message because it was really comforting waking up at 1am this morning to all of those messages on my away message. You guys are the best.

Maryland really is fun even though sometimes I may make it seem like it isn't. If you don't believe me, ask Bill, or Katie Moore, or even my sister Becky, who have all visited me here and had a good time.

This picture I have posted below is meant for Allison. This is my twin at college, her name is Lauren just like mine, and she lives across the hall from me. I love her dearly, she is hands down one of the coolest people I've ever met. However, Allison is my #1 twin for always :) I <3 you Alli!

I hope everyone is doing well, I miss you all!

<3always,
Lauren

It's been a while ...

2005-10-05T20:25:41Z

Ya'll are gonna be looking at your LJ Friends Page and be like huhhh Lauren wrote a journal entry? Yeah, I'm writing a journal entry.

Approximately one year ago, Melissa Granite and I cut our 8th and 9th period photography class, went and got some lunch at Wawa, and went to Strawbridge Lake for a nice lunch by the playground. If I think about it hard enough, it's almost like I'm there now, eating that turkey sandwich, sitting across from Mel at the picnic table near the swings. That day Melissa and I had one of the most memorable conversations I've ever had. We discussed the future, wondering where we'd be a year from then, wondering who we'd be with, knowing that we'd be hanging out with completely different people that we didn't even know existed. We thought about where those people were, what they were doing at that time...

Now Melissa is all the way in the big city and I'm sitting here in my dorm room in Maryland acorss from my roommate Deanna, who is watching stand-up comedy from Comedy Central downloaded on her computer (she and Kate would get along so well). The future is now the present. All that Mel and I were wondering about has actually happened, all of our questions are answered.

I'm honestly sitting here and gazing off at nothing in disbelief. My life is so drastically different than it was a year ago. And it's been a whole year! How did this happen? I hate myself for thinking about this right now. It's just making me depressed. Man, I wanted to get out of high school so badly, but at this moment, I kinda want to go back. I wanna walk the halls of MHS just like I always used to, I wanna see my old locker, I wanna eat lunch in the cafeteria .... Most of all, I want to see all of you guys that made high school well, high school for me.

I feel by writing this entry I have somehow connected with all of you back in Moorestown. Guys, please let me know how you're all doing, I miss you ...

<3always,
The one and only,
LaurenKaySmith

A Farewell to my Livejournal

2005-04-03T20:33:55Z

I think my mind has outgrown livejournal. I'm tired of censoring my real thoughts just so that I can keep them G-rated for the general public. Truth be told, if I put most of what I'm thinking in my LJ, then I'd be in a lot of trouble. If I can't put whatever I want in here, then I feel there is no use in putting anything in here at all. This is therefore my last online journal entry, thank you for all of those who read it.

This is the end.
<3always,
Lauren

So long to Florida

2005-03-21T19:10:41Z

Horrible start to my week. Today at breakfast my father was trying to convince me to go to the University of Maryland because it's closer and a better school academically than Florida. Of course I wasn't crazy about this idea at all as I LOVE FLORIDA ... so this put me in a horrible mood to start the day. My Dad has been pressuring me to go to Maryland for a while now and it's really frusturating because I don't really want to go there when I can go to Florida.

Then to make matters worse, today a letter came in the mail saying that Maryland was giving me money. Not only that but I was also invited into their scholars program. My mom told me this on the phone and I basically wanted to cry. This only means that my Dad will want me to go to Maryland even more and I DON'T WANT TO! And of course what has Florida given me? NOTHING. And Maryland is a better school than Florida by FAR academically. Why does this have to happen to me?

Basically all my dreams will be ruined.

<3always,
Lauren

MARCH MADNESS

2005-03-19T20:48:33Z

So after Round 1 of March Madness, I am tied for first place in the $600 pool. I'm sure it won't last ... but it's still hot as hell to brag about!!!

<3always,
Lauren

I GOT INTO FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-03-10T19:47:14Z

Dear Ms. Smith:
Congratulations! Your admission to the University of Florida has been approved for the Fall 2005 term.

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE

I'M CREATING A PETITION TO HAVE 18 MINUTE PERIODS EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR

2005-03-08T20:18:18Z

Okay what the heck is this weather all about? It was SEVENTY-THREE DEGREES yesterday according to my car and today my fingers almost snapped off my hand as I scraped the SNOW off my car. Yesterday I went to Coldstone for ice cream, today I came home and made vanilla chai.

I'm extremely happy that I'm going to prom with Zack. I think prom will definitely be fantastic this year.

I think having full periods today was cruel and unusual punishment. Time may have actually moved backwards.

BYE I NEED A NAP.

<3always,
Lauren

An ode to Robitussin

2005-02-25T00:06:19Z

Dear Robitussin,
For the last week of my life I have had the great displeasure of consuming you every evening prior to my retiring to bed. It turns out that you are the only medicine that can assuage my cough and keep my airways clear at night. Unfortunately, your repulsive artifical cherry taste makes me want to vomit. Basically, you succeed at suppressing my cough but give me flu symptoms in replacement. Also, you only last for four hours. This is a bit of a problem because I attempt to get eight hours of sleep every evening. This means that I must take two dosages of you a night in order to continue breathing while sleeping. That's right, four fantastic tablespoons of Robitussin galore every evening until this wonderful cold disappears.

Unfortunately, this cold is supposed to last for at least two weeks. I've only served half my time. I will apparently have to endure the horrible two second experience of Robitussin passing through my lips and down into my stomach fourteen more times.

The cherry flavor just isn't working out anymore. I think my mouth actually dries up when I have to take it. For the good of all people who suffer from the common cold, I am proposing that you change your flavor to something delicious like strawberry banana smoothie or caramel machiatto, yes just like the Starbucks beverage! I think a lot of people would be more inclined to buy Robitussin if you did this. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Lauren K. Smith

LAUREN SMITH IS GOING TO COLLEGE!!!

2005-02-23T00:38:33Z

GIVE A HOLLER FOR THIS COLLEGE PARK SCHOLAR!

I GOT INTO THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND

FEAR THE EFFING TURTLE!!!

If you wanna be my lova

2005-02-08T00:52:44Z

ATTENTION!

As of tomorrow, Tuesday February 8, 2005 I am accepting applications for a temporary boyfriend for the date of February 14, 2005 ... also known as Valentine's Day. It's a one-day-only sort of thing, all you have to do is buy me some nice flowers, gummy bears, and maybe a cute little teddy bear. Also, anything from Gatorshop.com will be accepted. If you're lucky, I'll make out with you. If you're interested, leave a comment or contact my away message or cell phone.

In other news, Lent starts on Wednesday and on that day I will no longer be able to consume caffeine of any sort or pizza of any type. Now that's what I call dedication to Jesus. Wish me luck.

Farewell for the present, I have some love to be making. Not.

<3always,
Lauren

Smells like Summer

2004-04-10T21:20:27Z

Smells like someone is cooking on the grill. It smells so good, makes me want summer to come backkk. It's so pretty again outside today, I feel like I'm wasting the day by being inside. I'm so lazy, I should have run this morning, but instead I just sat at home listening to music. Music is my life these days, it's so easy for me to get lost in it. I did walk up to Subway today with my sister, that was yummy. There were two freshmen kids from my study hall first semester who were working there, they made me feel stupid because THEY have a job and I don't. I think I am going to apply for a job at Subway or at Rita's. Prolly Ritas because my friend Emily works there, so it would be nice to know someone. After Subway we went to Wawa and I got a cream cheese filled pretzel. Nobody I know likes them, it doesn't make sense to me because I find them so good.

Nobody I know is around, everyone is busy or on vacation. So that leaves me, all aloneeee :( I guess I'm done for now ....

Laur

THIS JOURNAL IS GONNA BE FRIENDS ONLY. THANKS, BYE.